How to Help Adoptive Families in 5 Different Ways
Families frequently hold fundraising events while the adoption process is ongoing because it is typically extremely expensive. It can be a terrific opportunity to support a family as they try to welcome their new child into their house to take part in those. But what follows? How can we assist them once they are married, settled, and adjusting to life? Here are five simple ways to show a newly adopted family your love and support:
- Meals
I have a strong enthusiasm for feeding people. Jesus provided food for the crowd. Although the Last Supper and the feeding of the 5,000 are well known, John 21:1–14 contains one of my favourite Bible food scenes. After His resurrection, Jesus makes breakfast for His disciples, according to a tale from John. He was aware that feeding them was a significant method to reassure and cherish them. We are sustained by food, which is also incredibly fun and social.
Parents who have adopted a kid of any age adore the support of meals, just as when a newborn arrives home! Even while you may not expect the new parents to experience sleepless nights because the child is older, they will still be grateful for meals (and it’s likely that they aren’t getting enough sleep regardless of how old the child is!). In addition to being one less thing for them to worry about while they get used to this new life, providing food demonstrates your concern for them. Inquire in advance about any dietary restrictions or allergies. To provide the family with the option of eating the food later, think about making cuisine that can be quickly reheated or frozen.
I had a buddy who used to come over to my house and just throw items in the freezer when we first got our son home from China. I could make dinner on some days. On other days, when I opened the freezer, I saw her blessings neatly packaged in foil with labels containing directions. Cue the happy and relieved tears. Don’t forget to eat breakfast while you’re at it. A fantastic morning casserole or muffin recipe will be just as appreciated, if not more, than dinner!
- Reprieve
Providing child care may save your mental health. In order for this to be successful, you must feel at ease with whatever potential special needs the child may have. I forbade anyone from watching our son in the early years when we were in the “cocooning” stage. In order for the youngster to understand who his family is and that his parents are unique and different from other adults, cocooning essentially entails remaining together as a family for the majority of the time. But finally, I felt comfortable leaving him with someone else for a few hours since I knew he had come to identify me as his mother. I did things like a nap, take a shower, or have a cup of coffee when I had friends who were willing to watch my kids. Simple things throughout some difficult days completely altered my frame of mind.
Offering to watch other children is another method to assist. Newly adopted children may have a lot of medical appointments. You can offer to stay with the family at those appointments if they have other kids so the parents won’t have to schlep everyone around.
3. Prayer
Everyone should pray. Praying for the connection of their adopted kid with the family, everyone’s adjustment, and any particular needs the child may have is highly appreciated by adoptive families. Foreign-born children frequently suffer from health or developmental issues. It’s always a good idea to pray for the birth families and learn how to handle difficult conversations. To truly pray for the child, you do not need to know everything about them. You don’t need to be aware of the child’s past to offer prayers of healing and compassion because God is aware of every detail. You can always pray about those concerns because loss and trauma are something that every adopted child has experienced. It is acceptable to ask the parents for particular instructions on how to pray, but keep in mind that they will probably keep their child’s account private.
However, even if you shouldn’t pray about the child’s particular situation when asking questions, you should still do so to learn more about adoption! Adoptive parents frequently enjoy discussing adoption. We can discuss requirements, home studies, cocooning, special needs, Hague vs. non-Hague, Hague against international, domestic vs. international, and much more. The adoption industry is so complex, and we frequently enjoy enlightening others. Submit your inquiries. If you are willing to be corrected, it is OK to acknowledge ignorance. Don’t be upset if I respond that I am his genuine mother and that you meant to inquire about his birth mother when you ask, “What do you know about his true mom?” Both you and I are gaining knowledge.
Remember that the purpose of these inquiries is not to spread rumours. There are some aspects of my son’s past that I won’t discuss with you. You are not involved in any of that. I will keep his story confidential because it is his to share. However, I do appreciate your inquiries and want to learn more about adoption, orphan care, and how to best support adoptive families. Such inquisitiveness has the power to transform the world.
4. Teach Your Own Children.
Educate your own children in addition to your own learning process. Explain to them what adoption entails. Ask your adoptive friends if they have any advice if you don’t know the correct words to use; you can bet they do! Teach your kids that there are difficult things in the world and that our God has a plan for redemption. Let them know that they are loved the same way regardless of whether they were born into the family or were adopted. Through your actions, show children how to communicate with grace, a loving curiosity, and a willingness to listen.
If you lead your children down the correct way while they are young, they won’t stray from it as adults, according to Proverbs 22:6. We feel accepted when your kids learn to love their families, love adoption, and love our kids. Future generations will benefit from that love.
- Verify
This is a simple one! Inform adoptive families that their efforts are important. Encourage them and support them orally. When they need to vent or share their anxieties, listen. Be sure to let them know that even though this week may have felt like everything fell apart, they are still carrying out righteous work, changing lives, and spreading the gospel through their deeds. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never abandon you or forsake you, the Bible says in Deuteronomy 31:8. Don’t be intimidated or discouraged. John 14:27, for example, says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give. I do not offer to you in the manner of the world. Keep your mind from wandering and don’t be terrified. Everybody needs a companion who can support them and serve as a reminder of the crucial race they are competing in. Be a buddy like that.
